Foghorn staff members Melissa Baron and Heather Spellacy ogle at Michael Jordan’s sheer grace, talent, and excellent genetic makeup. Photo Illustration by Cass Krugghoff/Foghorn

Unlike my co-author Heather, I’ve never been into professional athletics. I couldn’t grasp the complex sets of rules or strange lingo. But that never completely stopped me from watching. There was one thing I understood: some pro athletes are total babes. From the cute butts in baseball pants to the strapping arms of basketball players to the foxy aggressiveness of hockey players, there’s something for both sporty and sports incompetent viewers to enjoy. These are a few sports hotties that will make you want to keep the channel set to ESPN.

Melissa’s Picks:

Chris “Birdman” Anderson – At 6’10’’ 228 pounds, Birdman dominates the court as a center/power forward for the Denver Nuggets. He seems tough all covered in tattoos (30+ in fact) with a tall, spiky faux hawk and two year dismissal from the NBA for drug abuse. But he’s not as tough as he seems, he got his first tattoo with his mom. One look at his charmingly goofy smile and you can tell this bad boy is reformed. Birdman makes sweatbands look totally rock’n’roll. Plus, how can you not love a man that flaps his hands and arms like wings after a good move on the court? Swoon.

Michael Jordan – Number 23 just gets better with age, he’s like the George Clooney of basketball. At 47, he’s still looking fly than ever. Bald has never looked as good as it does on this former shooting guard hero from the Chicago Bulls. For a while he dabbled in baseball before returning to basketball. He played in two Olympic games, starred in the epic Looney-Tunes basketball spectacular “Space Jam” and inspired/endorsed Air Jordan’s. Beyond his many accomplishments, Jordan’s piercing eyes, alluring smile and cute big nose are enough to make any girl get weak in the knees and he keeps it mysterious with one earring.

Heather’s Picks:

Matt Hughes – Ok. Hottest guy in UFC hands down. Maybe I’m biased because he’s a country boy out of Iowa, and has the legs of a god, but the fact that he is tied for the most wins in UFC proves his validity as a fighter. He walks out to every fight with “A Country Boy Can Survive” by Hank Williams Jr., and when the UFC gave Matt Serra a shiny new SUV as a thank you for his help coaching, they presented Hughes with a shiny new tractor instead. Oh, and he also has a twin brother named Mark, you know, in case it doesn’t work out between Matt and I.

Peyton Manning – Even if you don’t know football, you’ve probably heard of him. Manning is not only an amazing quarterback, who some regard as the best of all time, but he is fine. His appearances on SNL and in various commercials prove he has a sense of humor, which most good-looking athletes lack. Let’s also point out that he’s 6’5”, which affords me the ability to wear four inch heals and never run the risk of being taller. He’s got the looks, the talent, and a southern accent. Score!

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