How to Love Being Single in 7 Simple Steps

Do you have the Why-am-I-always-single-on-Valentine’s-Day blues? Don’t bust out the Patsy Cline and the Ben n’ Jerry’s just yet. Being single is not a curse – it’s a testament to our freedom. Singledom is exhilarating and empowering. Read on for words (and illustration) of wisdom from a romantically liberated individual, Scene Editor Rieko Whitfield.


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1) Don’t victimize yourself. You. Yes, you. Get the hell off your ex’s Facebook page and go have some fun. Just because you’re single now doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with who you are. Stop whining to your friends, family, and every willing stranger on the MUNI about how you’re never going to find someone. If you can’t learn to stand strong on your own two feet, you’re not emotionally ready to commit to a healthy relationship (refer to Exhibit A).

2) Remember, you live in San Francisco. You’re in the heart of one of the most culturally diverse and exciting cities on the west coast. Go out dancing in the Castro. Make out with a stranger at a bar in the Mission. Flirt with the cute barista at your favorite coffee shop on Divisadero. From the city that birthed the free love movement in the 1960’s, being single in San Francisco is groovy.

3) Keep your doors open. If you’re really looking for a relationship, branch out and meet new people. Don’t be quick to label USF as “University of Sexual Frustration” (or better known as “University of Single Females” by all the ladies). There are plenty of attractive people at USF. I shamelessly check out cuties all over campus that I admit I’m too shy to chat up. I assume a lot of us are in the same boat. Get involved in clubs and meet people that share your interests. If you’re eyeing someone, work up the courage just to talk to him or her. Enjoy the fact that you are free to pursue anyone you want. There’s nothing like the rush you get from the thrill of the chase. Even if USF girls/guys aren’t up to your elitist standards, there are single people at SFSU, SFAI, and all over San Francisco in general.

4) Face it. For most of us, we’re never going to be younger, thinner, or hotter than we are now. Make the most of it. Do you really want to waste your glory years tied down in a relationship? You can save all the domestic couple-y crap until you’re 15 years older, 15 lbs. fatter, and when you’ve sprouted your first gray hairs and wrinkles.

5) Be selfish. You are free. This is the period in your life when your sole purpose is to figure out who you really are. Take up a crazy new hobby. Do something reckless. Get a tattoo. Dye your hair blue. Apply for your dream internship. Take time for yourself. You can do whatever your heart desires, and no significant other can stop you.

6) Be patient. When you’re so wrapped up in the present, it’s easy to forget that you have your whole life ahead of you. We all know that mending a broken heart takes time, but don’t give up yet! You never know when that special someone will walk into your life and blow you away.

7) Don’t confuse love with a Valentine’s Day card from Hallmark. Love is your mother’s home-cooked meals. Love is the late night heart-to-heart conversations with your best friends. Love is cuddling on the couch with your dog. Whether you’re single or taken, love can take many different forms in your life. Don’t ever take it for granted.

Last 5 posts by Rieko Whitfield

One thought on “How to Love Being Single in 7 Simple Steps”

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