On the eve of a military confrontation with Russia, Ukraine’s Army has begun to advertise positions for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) soldiers as part of a special national guard.
“It’s both offensive and progressive,” said Sam Reed, director of a local LGBTQ Rights Organization. ”We’re in a little bit of a conundrum.”
“We clearly need a secret weapon,” a top general was quoted saying. The Defense Ministry is urging the Ukrainian parliament to pass a bundle of LGBTQ civil rights bills to make it easier to enlist the LGBTQ community into the army.
We asked the only 2 Ukrainian Students at USF: “Do You Support the Russian Annexation of Crimea?”
DISCLAIMER: This piece was printed as part of The Foghorn’s April Fool’s Day issue on April 1st, 2014. This article is intended to be satirical.