Thursty Thursday is now officially a USF student organization
Reports confirm that after attending nearly a full year of weekly meetings without any recognition whatsoever, students participating in the popular extracurricular Thursty Thursday will finally receive credit for their involvement.
“On behalf of the university, I’d like to say that we appreciate the amount of time and effort students put into mass binge drinking every Thursday night, and recognize the need to formally acknowledge this achievement,” Bruce Winner, director of student life at USF, said.
University officials agreed to register the USF Chapter of Thursty Thursday as an official student organization following a meeting with concerned students last week.
“This is a huge win for the USF community,” said Chapter President Ben Stills, senior accounting major.
“Many students have to go out of their way to get ridiculously obliterated on a weekday, placing their commitment to drinking heavily above even their own self-interest,” said Stills, shortly after rejecting his grandmother’s Thursday evening dinner invitation and moving his midterm exam from Friday morning to Friday afternoon. “It’s nice to know our hard work is being noticed.”
Junior graphic design major Lindsey Mayonnaise has been participating in the extracurricular since before it was cool. “It’s amazing how much this event has grown in the past year,” shouted Mayonnaise, at one of the more crowded meeting locations last Thursday.
“It’s really caught on more than any other student organization on campus. I think it’s because we’re all really passionate about what we’re doing here and we all share… can you hold on? I have to pee.”
With the “pursuit of higher education,” “yolo,” and “turnt” listed as key elements in the group’s mission statement, it is not clear whether participation in the organization will count towards service learning or leadership experience, though the Thursday night events are already legible for Student Rewards Program (SRP) points.
“I’m proud of my school for endorsing what I think is an organization that really represents what USF students are all about,” said undeclared freshman Julie Spagnola, last Thursday night.
Spagnola, who “technically can’t be here right now” according to a friend, switched her schedule around this semester to better accomodate her weekday belligerence. “This is what higher education is all about,” she said, waving her glass in the air like she’s a true player.
At press time, Spagnola was seen throwing up near a dumpster with her friends.
USF currently has 2,024 undergraduate students registered with USF’s Thursty Thursday, making it the biggest student organization in university history.
To join, email Thursty Thursday President Ben Stills, who can’t remember his email right now, but thinks it has his name in it and something to do with beer.
DISCLAIMER: This piece was printed as part of The Foghorn’s April Fool’s Day issue on April 1st, 2014. This article is intended to be satirical.